we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize