Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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