you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
