she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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