Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
