Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
