I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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