At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I got inside last night via doggy door
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
