So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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