Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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