drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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