I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Acid is not a monday night drug
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
