I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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