i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
