They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
