Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
