Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
