You made me cry and you don't even care
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
