Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She told me I should be a condom model.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
