I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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