Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
