This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
