Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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