your thong is hanging out like whoa
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
