i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
