its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
