Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
