allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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