Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
