i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize