Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
