you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
