I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
