Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Randomize
