She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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