Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
