My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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