Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
