I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
