Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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