I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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