Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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