So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just want nice things and good sex
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
