I want to have your abortion
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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