So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
