Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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