I'll bet she douches with gravy.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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