i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I need to sanitize my soul.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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