Already got asked if we're dating
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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