lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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