**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
