She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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