I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
