I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
