i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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