I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
