she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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