How'd it feel making her break her religion?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
