OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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