my phone needs a breathalizer
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So squirting runs in the family.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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