I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
