did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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