Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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