Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
did i walk over a car last night?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
