You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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