theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My vagina just clenched in fear
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
