I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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