Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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