dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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