im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just found puke in my bra..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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