wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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